nothing important happened today

Soundtrack of my life: One Giant Step....

2009-03-04T04:58:07Z

I have done something truly fabulous and that is give my job the two fingers albiet in a diplomatic way. After 4 1/2 years of being under appreciated I have said "adios Amigos" and opted for a grand adventure. The adventure is grand becuase I have nothing to go to but I do have a list of many things that have taken backseats to my underpaid crappy job over the past few years. My potential and creativity have slowly been sapped away and it took a loud bang to wake me up.

On 3rd April 2009 I say goodbye to what I thought was "my brililant career" and instead beckon unemployment with open arms.

Things I intend to achieve

Build my business idea (hush hush, top secret stuff :))
Work on establishing my ebay business more
Write a treatment for a book idea I have (hopefully can get a big fat advance)
Finish my "Fable" series (I'm sure I can find another 60,000 words) **1st Priority**
Make from scratch a new and sophisicated wardrobe that actually fits me.
Go to the massive Sunday Markets
Read a book or two (or the 20 I've bought or been given over the past two years)
Register my dog (finally!)
Sell my car
Sell all the crap furniture I really don't want or need
Get rid of all the stuff that is simply sitting and collecting dust
Paint the walls of my house
Landscape the front and back yards
Doggy proof my backyard
Find a job that is worthy of me
Post regularly on this here blog of mine
Self Study - Project Management
Look at doing some courses
Finishing writing the plays I have started

Not a bad list to get me started.

Let's see how much I get done :)

Twilight

2009-02-05T01:27:42Z

My thoughts:

My relationship with Twilight is love and hate, with a splash of disappointment. It's a collection of books that your better judgement says stop reading but for some reason you just can't and when it's all over with you want to rewrite the darn thing to how it should have been 'good'!

It just goes to show that even the best of story ideas can be completely mutilated when cared for by the right author. I'm a fan in that it has it's good, bad and ugly moments and even though I cringed over every spelling mistake and grammatical error I saw it through to the end.

The books and story have provided much entertainment around a dining table as less literary individuals try to argue its merit and its brilliance.

I'm back

2009-02-05T01:25:38Z

It has been a rather long extended hiatus from the electronic world but I am back with my mind and spirit intact.

tasmania Christmas 07

2008-06-03T04:35:08Z

love my mum

2008-03-11T08:20:26Z

Next month would have been my darling mumsie's 59th birthday. I have good days and bad days when it comes to my mother. Some are good because I am following her request and living life, laughing and enjoying what the world has to offer. Some are bad because I so desperately want her advice or solace and it is not there.

I miss how she would caress my hair. Only mumsie could touch my hair that way without it being an annoyance.

My biggest regret is that I never fully appreciated her brilliance when she was alive.

She is flying a starship across the universe divide and learning the secrets that allude us in life.

Tobacco update

2008-03-11T08:16:06Z

For those of you who may not know I have now successfully given up the dreaded tobacco and replaced it with Soy Milk!

Yes, I have been smoke free for four months the longest I've gone with out the dreaded cigarette in ten years.

I am tres impressed with my efforts!

of lists, promotion and time

2008-03-11T08:12:05Z

I really must dedicate more time to my blog as it's looking a little tattered at the moment. All good and well to say but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to find time to write. The culprit is work, I find myself working 12 hour days as a people leader which unfortunately leaves me exhausted at the end of the day for anything else but a mild comatose state!

I have a list of things I want to do by the time I turn 32:

1. Write my new play
2. Finish my fanfiction epic
3. Find a new job (where the people do appreciate me)
4. fix up my garden
5. Make some new friends.

At the moment my job is eating into large chunks of my personal life much to my regret. It's hard being a leader and coaching, mentoring and supporting 18 people to do their utmost best. This is especially when your own leaders do not recognise the effort you are putting in and fall short on recognising your accomplishments. It's a mad world we live in and if it wasn't wanting to do the best by those working with and for me I would have thrown in the towel weeks ago. I enjoy my job and I enjoy the people, what I hate is that I got passed over for permanent promotion over an external applicant with 30 years experience. Of course the feedback was I didn't have enough experience - how am I to get 30 years experience when I am only 31! How can I possibly compete when I will get passed over by applicants with more experience (purely because they've been doing it longer) - it's downright bollocks if you ask me. In my valued opinion you sometimes have to go on gut instinct and someone who has being doing the role for 9 months in some regard has more experience than joe/joan blog off the street!

Well I'm off to a good start, I've managed a half decent entry for March!

Adelaide is suffering a heat wave - the longest in history with temperatures sky rocketing to 41 degrees celcius. How I long for snow!

I would relish nothing more than continuing talking to you eclectic mix of people out there in cyberland, however, work beckons and although I have already worked an impressive 11 hours I still have 2 hours of work still in front of me!

Sigh......

dancing in my living room

2007-09-08T09:39:37Z

I enjoy nothing more than cranking up the music and dancing in my living room, it is a glorious thing to hear the music and allow your body to move.

Today has been productive, having a visual landscape of boxes can, after a while, make you feel rather morose. I started the boring task of unpacking so much so that I now have a bedroom! Granted there is still only a matress on the floor but this will also be rectified in the next week. My house is slowly starting to feel like a home. Some have wondered why it has taken so long, why I haven't dived right in, my boss of all people has best described it....

I'm nomadic!

So with some boxes now unpacked and the excitement of an actual bed to look forward to, I am now relaxing with a cooper's pale and cataloguing my CD collection.

I'm getting organised...

Let's see if it continues through to tomorrow...

of tobacco - day 2

2007-07-30T08:48:09Z

It get's tough around the 6pm mark I find, the cravings start to become rampant and I spend most seconds telling myself I don't want a cigarette.

Apparently I only have 12 more days of this!!

of tobacco

2007-07-29T10:43:46Z

after several stops and starts I have once more stopped smoking, however, tonight is proving rather difficult. I'm not usually one for have strong and overwhelming cravings, but tonight my body is screaming for a cigarette and I sit typing this begging my body to be quiet, begging my mind to be strong and continue the mantra "no".

I have tried occupying my time but no matter what I do I still have that niggling little voice saying "go on, you know you want to." The thing is I don't want to, I don't want to be a slave to the cigarette, but why am I finding it so difficult to quit.

High school musical

2007-07-13T13:54:24Z

It is commonplace to see wonderful theatre scripts warped for the big screen. Less common is for a film to become a work of theatre, more directly a Disney musical to grace the stage. Tonight I found myself at the South Australian premiere of the stage version of High School Musical and at the end I found myself giving a standing ovation. Now the standing ovation was not because the production moved me but more because the 60 odd kids performed with such passion and the audience gave such an overwhelming reception that I couldn't help but stand and clap loudly.

i was taken back to my own high school days where I played Viola the waitress in Grease. As I sat there watching, I leaned over to my sister and asked "were we ever this bad?" and she simply nodded in response.

Oddly my outing to high school theatre has inspired me and rejuvinated the muscial that has been mulling around my head. So I shall sit and type and perhaps one day present my own high school musical for the stage.

Okay back to the musical, now you will have to bear with me as I didn't get a programme and have a shocking memory and didn't take notes so I shall relay my review in my own manner.

It is basically Grease with no bad element and unmemorable songs. The outstanding performances were definately the actor and actress that play Sharay and Ryan, they did a marvellous job and provided much needed humour.

Yes, it was fun.
Yes I gave a standing ovation.
Yes the crowd roared in appreciation much to my surprise.
and finally I have rediscovered the joy of high school musicals - perhaps I'll go and rent the DVD now.

follow the stars

2007-06-26T12:30:48Z

for those of you that don't know I am an aquarian and suffer [quite proudly] very strong aquarian traits. The below is actually a very close depiction of who I actually am!

The Dark Side
The Aquarian personality can be chaotic and unpredictable, stubborn and rebellious, cranky and perverse. It is a sign which can be totally dedicated to being unconventional, whilst remaining stuck in a rigid, unrecognized pattern. It is also a sign which can become detached to the point of coldness, making it very difficult for ordinary mortals to relate to them. Aquarians do not care what the world thinks, however, so that social conventions are sometimes thrown out of the windows in favour of anarchy. The isolation this can sometimes bring can come as a surprise to them as they find it difficult to see how they might have behaved unreasonably.
(http://www.forplu.com/community/life&style/feature/horoscope/aquarius.htm)

my sister

2007-06-25T10:24:11Z

For as long as I can remember I have loved and hated my sister in the same breath. Her personality shrouding me in darkness, the jealousy sometimes consuming me. She would infuriate me and I never did understand why, but with age comes wisdom and with death you discover things that you wish you had known sooner.

At 30 and five weeks after my mother's death I can finally say I love my sister with every breath. I've discovered her beauty and learnt to accept our differences, I am thankful that she is in my life. I regret the things that kept us at arms length and the arguments that consumed us whole heartedly.

She provides me with strength and she is not only my sister but a reminder of the mother I have lost.

Lastly she is a brilliant writer and deserves to be recognised.

http://www.audreyapple.blogspot.com/

I am proud to be a member of the Apple family and to have Audrey as my dear sister.

Sunday

2007-06-24T00:49:09Z

I spent most of last night revamping my blog and I am rather happy with the results. It is a better reflection of who I am and the asthetics should encourage me to post here more often.

I am about to head out to have Yum Cha [Chinese high tea] at the Gouger Palace here in Adelaide and I have to say a Chinese breakfast will be somewhat interesting considering I have never had one before. Pops is about to head back to Brisbane to start his big important GM job *happy dance* which he thoroughly deserves.

Family life has become a series of disjointed keystrokes on a piano we grab each other while we can. Our lives are so random and different that we don't see each other every other day or live on the same street. For our distance we do all love each other dearly and there is a closeness that even living on the same street corner couldn't compete with.

I should finish my cup of tea and head out into the cold sunny morning!

on death and sympathy

2007-06-23T10:20:31Z

I want to thank some of you for your kind words and virtual hugs during the difficult time of my mother's death. I realised I had cut myself off from the world both real and virtual, turning my back on those.

Beldoc

Djonie

MeryKey

Wildsky

Thank you for your hugs, prayers and concern, I may not have expressed it at the time but it helped me through those difficult days. A hug is a powerful thing and it gave me comfort when things were tough.

Shikasta.

the case of the missing car

2007-06-20T11:49:36Z

On a tres cold Adelaide evening I returned to Paradise Interchange after a rather ~~uneventful~~ frantic day at work to find my car was not where I had left it. To my horror the sturdy Polly had found herself on a joyride! I stood open mouthed in front of the carparking space where my beloved ~~blue toyota corolla~~ beast should be. After much umming and arring and rethinking my steps for the day (it was quite possible that I had actually parked somewhere else) I was comfortable in the knowledge that I had parked my car in the now empty spot.

After a call to hubby and a text message or two sharing my loss I trekked to the police station to make a report. Having never had a car stolen before I was not up on the etiquette so when asked such questions as "how would you like your car secured" all I could answer was "I haven't got a clue". 40 minutes passed and then I headed home to mourn and share my loss with those friends on-line.

My sister in law logs onto messenger (an internet chat program) and I retell the tragic tale of how Polly abandoned me for some excitement. After a couple of "holy Cows!" Pippa then preceeds to tell me how she knows where it is and she thought it was weird that I was parked on a side street in Dernancourt. So Dan and I jumped into his car and went and staked out my car until the cops rocked up. All I can say is thank Dan for buying me personalised license plates. Blue plates that say FNDNG0 really do stand out even if your car is rather none discript.

SO after all the excitement my car was stolen for all of 3 hours (that I'm aware of) - this is even better than the case of the missing ipod! I lost my ipod on a street corner for two days before finding it again.

So Polly is now safely parked in the driveway after her rather over zealous adventure today. My only complaint is that the thief couldn't have put all my stuff back in the glove compartment, but I suppose you can't have everything!

If anything this story goes to show just how small Adelaide really is.

Till my next case have a great time where ever you are in the world.

the english patient

2007-06-16T07:46:19Z

I watched the English Patient today, a film I had not seen before. I have few words to describe its beauty and simply want to share with you an exert of what Katherine wrote to her lover at the end.

I know you will come and carry me out into the palace of winds

That’s all I’ve wanted, to walk in such a place with you.

With friends.

An earth without maps.

to find a muse

2007-06-10T23:57:57Z

I've found an actual living and breathing muse! This person for their own safety shall not be named but it's like a spark that has jump started the battered old chevy of my life. The world actually looks different and well my writing has seen some improvement. The biggest change is that I have sat down in front of my faithful laptop and started to type. My fingers mechanically hitting the keys, familiarity guiding my choices and the words combined have created a beautiful yet sorrowful picture. Yes, my new play is being written, it is leaving the churning of my mind for a more stable piece of electronic paper.

Thank you my muse, without you I would still be pretending but now I can hold my head up high once more and say "Yes I write and am pretty darn good as well!"

To all you wonderful people remember to Live, life on earth may only be a speck of our existance but while we're here we should enjoy the scenery.

charliifandango @ 2007-06-03T19:54:00

2007-06-03T10:30:25Z

I had my cards read today and if any of it is true my life will be thrown into chaos. Gone will be the safety net I have carefully built up around me. Strangely, some of it wasn't a surprise, what I had been hoping for was to have my cards tell me I am on the right path. Alas, the cards predict a 180 and I am not sure how I feel about that.

Of course all this should be taken with a grain of salt. If one was to change everything because of what some lady with a bunch of cards says while holding your watch..

charliifandango @ 2007-05-16T17:23:00

2007-05-16T07:59:34Z

Luciana Ford
1949 - 2007
she danced to the beat of her own drum and her music will be missed
love you mummy

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."

- Blade Runner

I fly a starship across the Universe divide
And when I reach the other side
I'll find a place to rest my spirit if I can
Perhaps I may become a highwayman again
Or I may simply be a single drop of rain
But I will remain
And I'll be back again, and again and again and again and again..

- Johnny Cash, "Highwayman"

charliifandango @ 2007-05-16T11:03:00

2007-05-16T01:33:54Z

My mother is dead and I will survive.

Hug your mothers and say "i love you"

2007-05-07T01:18:58Z

my sister has said what I've been unable to express, read it here:

http://audreyapple.blogspot.com/2007/05/like-thief-in-night.html#links

I feel empty and am simply going through the motions. I cried myself to sleep last night my heart tearing with each sob. I lay looking into the darkness expecting to see an apparition of my mother, dressed in white a calming smile on her face telling me everything is okay, that she's okay.

The last thing my mother did was stroke my hair, she stroked it tenderly as she told me how she remembered every minute of my life. I still find it strange that I will never see her again and my goodbye just didn't seem enough.

I take comfort in the fact that I can look up at Orion and know my mother will be watching over us.

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."
- Blade Runner

charliifandango @ 2007-05-05T20:33:00

2007-05-05T11:08:04Z

My mother has come home to die. The reality a punch in the gut that leaves you breathless. Today is the last time I will look upon her beautiful face. She doesn't want her children to watch her die, to have the image forever burned in our minds. Instead she wants us to remember her as she is.

My mother is dying of starvation because the cancer has blocked her stomach.

I look at her emanciated form and all I can think to say is "thank you for being my mother".

Her wish is that I continue living, and then someday soon I shall receive a phone call and pops will tell me "mumsie is dead".

the script

2007-04-27T03:49:45Z

I'm in the planning phase of a new theatre script. I'm actually excited about this one, I ~~hope~~ think it will outstrip all my previous work. I'm not going to divulge too much at this stage but if anyone ~~except El Pablo~~ would like to edit it for me then let me know. I hope to have a first draft the beginning of August and hopefully a finished product by the end of the year.

I never thought I would return to my writing, the landscape of my imagination has been pretty barren lately except for the rollicking tumbleweeds and I have not been able to develop an idea. I didI have the foresight to stockpile all the ideas for when my imagination became more co-operative!

charliifandango @ 2007-04-27T12:29:00

2007-04-27T03:00:13Z

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