This is a piece of flashfic - roughly 500 words long. It addresses vaguely the idea of being gender queer, transitioning, coming of age, and generally being a miserable young adult. The subject's name is Kyle.

( skinny hands, bony wrists, spindly fingers )

Another Poem.

( Read more... )

“Weren’t you trained never to point a gun at your partner?”

 

( Read more... )

I've just thought when asked to look through something for someone that beyond the basic point of grammar and spelling/plot (eg something doesn't make sense or continuity) mistakes what else should people be looking for?

I'm probably going to be looking through stories/film scripts in the future but it just occured to me that there could be more I should be looking for. And I don't quite know what it is.

Any suggestions?

And another poem! :)

( Wicked )

Hello. I'd really love some feedback and have been disappointed with the lack of feedback from Facebook. Haha. So I figured this would be the best place to go!

Here's to a long and fruitful relationship! I think this poem is one of my best.

( Anthem )

This is a story I started working on while listening to Last of the Wilds by Nightwish. It is about faeries.

I would like feedback. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I do not always catch them all.
( The Last True Protectors )

I've been doing a lot of reading recently and it's made me very anxious to try and start writing again. I really enjoy. and would be looking to write some thing mythology/fantasy based, but the more I research the more I feel like everything has been done. Or, at least that there's a definite pattern in what stories/characters get used. Vampires would be the best example.

I was wondering if anyone had suggestions or knew of any useful resources/places to look that might help me think and possibly widen my options? Grateful wouldn't even cover my response if so.

Title: Of Acid and Marshmallows
Author: seiferre
Genre: Fantasy, Children's, Humor
Rating: G
Critique: If you would like to. :3 Mostly I'm just posting to share, but I'd like to see some comments.
Summary: Marshmallows don't consider it suicide.
Author's Note: This was mostly written for fun; I didn't intend for it to go the way it did, but I was satisfied with it. I wrote it for my sister.

( ...He was a marshmallow – sweet and fattening and perfect for hot chocolate... )

This is my first post on any kind of community site. I hope this goes alright.

Title: A Wild Song
Word Count: 386
Rating: G
Summary: Play me. Play me a song rich and deep. The violin. The violin wanted her to play its song...

(Suddenly the stage with the light cast on her vanished, and her hands and her mind played a melody atop a broken tower...)

So, I have a story in my heart (don't we all). But as I sat down to start it out I felt like I was pacing the story too quickly, I've put what I've written so far in the cut but it isn't much about three paragraphs. I didn't want to continue until I got some feedback about the pace, the content, all that jazz. So please, check it out!


( Mirror )

I was wondering if anyone believes its good to incorporate things that are actually going in your life into your story/stories?
Is it good to give your character "your problems" and see how they would deal with them?
Would it help you through the tough times or just make everything more difficult to express?

It sits on my tiled floor,
the same replicated in the next room, the next, and the next.
Beige fiberglass monolith,
thrill me with your timeless ring.
Landline, come alive now
as the one who lines my mind and my heart
calls to share his own.

I've gone and lost my cellular,
thank god.
Talking heads all around me regain the color of real flesh
to communicate souls
full of longing and vision.

It's nice losing your phone.
Empty of plastic vibrations,
my pocket cradles my right hand.
Now. Now.
Now.
Now I am here. I am here now.
I am not wasting time.

So NaNo is over for 2009 and I've been revising and editing what I wrote for it. I was hoping to get some critique on what I've written so far. I have no illusions about my writing (as far as I'm concerned, it sucks), and would like help on sentence structure and dialogue. Please don't be afraid to be harsh in your criticism.


Title: Welcome to Hell
Author: takatohedgehog
Rating: PG-15
Warnings: none
Posted at: cupcake_writer
Word Count: 2,071
Synopsis/summary: Every God and Goddess has to go to school. Hades is no exception. For third years at Olympia Academy it's 'that year' - the year they discover what they'll be presiding over for the rest of eternity. For some it will be a year they will never forget, and for others it will be a year they would rather not remember...

When Hades and subsequently the school learn that he will be presiding over Hell, he is shunned. Soon it seems that even his brother Poseidon has abandoned him. The only ones who don't do this are Loki - Hades' roommate, a mischievous exchange student from Scandinavia - and Bastet, a level headed cat Goddess attending the Academy from Egypt. Both whom eventually become the future ruler of the dead's best, and only, friends.

A ski trip to Mount Vesuvius during the winter holidays soon uncovers a much more sinister plot. Persephone is being targeted by an unknown force; completely unaware of the danger she's in. With the help of his friends, can Hades prove his innocence in the downfall of Pompeii and warn the school in time to rescue Persephone from the unknown threat? Or does he have to dive in headfirst with only Loki and Bastet keeping him afloat and hope for the best?


( preface and excerpt under here )

The forum I usually frequent to get poetry critique is infuriatingly slow with actually getting any feedback, so I thought I'd try here.

( cut for profanity. )